At work, I sometimes have to call the national headquarters of the denomination I work for. Keep in mind that this denomination is one of the largest denominations in the United States.
So, I had to call about technical assistance for their website for records in leadership. I had been calling them for four weeks, and by the time I got to this call, I was pretty frustrated with getting no phone calls back. I called again, and was told I could leave a voice mail.
“Look,” I started, “I have been calling for over four weeks. I have not gotten a return call at all. I cannot enter this information on the website. I do not want voice mail again.”
“Alright,” said the switchboard operator, “I’ll put you through to John [not his real name], the head of the website.” I have spoken to John in the past, just twice, about the website, so even though he is the head honcho of the website, for this very large denomination, there is a little familiarity for me. I am not expecting him to remember me, but that is fine. I just wanted the website to function, so I can give them the information they require from the church I work for.
I said thank you, and waited. And waited.
After a few minutes, I turned some music on my computer, to listen. Since I was on hold, and alone in the office, I sang along. Why not, right? I would hear a click if someone came on, so I sang away.
I have been listening to a lot of Derek Webb recently, after Jode’s and my date last year, so I chose an oldie but a goodie, “Wedding Dress”. If you don’t know it, it’s a song about the church in America, and how we have basically prostituted ourselves to idols in our culture. The long and short of it is, it’s a song about being a whore, but running to Jesus anyhow.
But I only know, by heart, a few of the words. So, while on hold, I sang those words.
I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I am alone in the office. The pastor was on another part of the campus, so I sang out loud. I mean, why not, right?
As soon as I was done singing that I run down the aisle, whore that I am, on the phone I hear an automated beep and voice, “Beeep! Thank you, this message is now full.”
Yes, that’s right. That operator had put me through to voice mail, not on hold. Somewhere, floating around on voice mail, is me. That would be me singing that I am a whore, for someone to play over and over, and laugh (or possibly cry) about it.
I did tell the pastor when he came back, as he is an avid Derek Webb fan also. We had a good laugh over it. I hope John did too.
And you know what? I am a whore-not technically, as in the world defines it, but I have surely given away my heart to idols, time and time again. That song resonates with me, with the lifelong stretch there is between who I am and who I want to be; I want to be faithful, and I struggle in that, but God is good to see me through it, and strengthen me to follow Him.
I wonder if God laughed. I bet He did.